nikah gantung

8/2/2019 Nikah Gantung

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NIKAH GANTUNG has been a known

practice by members of the Malay/

Muslim community for quite some

time. In fact, it was one the topics raised

during a discussion session on gender

interactions organised by Young AMP

under its Muslim Youth Intelligentsia

Series for Malay/Muslim undergraduates

in February this year. In my personal

experience, many of my friends have

commented that they feel nikah

gantung may be a solution to romance

and relationship woes among youths.

Despite this, there has been very few

academic studies or publications that

have been conducted or written on

the particular subject matter, although

it has been briefly mentioned in the

book Malay Kinship and Marriage in

Singapore by Judith Djamour.

What is Nikah Gantung?

According to the anthropological

study by Djamour, nikah gantung is

a suspended marriage contract that

is practised by the Javanese and

Boyanese communities. This practice,

although not widespread or prevalent

enough to be considered a social

phenomenon, cannot be considered

to be uncommon either, especially

within these two communities. The

suspension or gantung mentioned

here is the suspension of the rights

to consummate the marriage. In

other words, the couple that is going

through such a marriage contract is still

registered and legally bounded to one

another by a state-appointed kadi in a

solemnisation or akad nikah ceremony.

The only difference is that the right

to consummate the marriage is

temporarily suspended for a stipulated

amount of time. This altered clause is

based on the reason that it is a marriage

with a girl who has yet to attain

puberty, hence is deemed unfit for

consummation, until she has attained

puberty. As such, the girl continues

to live in her parents household,

separate from her husband, until she

has attained puberty. This is based on

the account of Aisyahs marriage to

the Prophet. According to Djamour,

when this is achieved, the suspension

or gantung is then lifted, and the girl is

then handed over to her husband for

consummation and starts the life of a

wife in her husbands household from

that point onwards.

NIKAH GANTUNG:

A Halal Alternative to

Unlawful Dating?Hasanul Arifin

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This definition of nikah gantung,

however, differs from the personal

studies conducted for the purpose of

this article. Nikah gantung still remains,

although it is practised in a different way,

possibly because it has evolved over

time to adapt and suit the changing

needs of the community as well as

to suit the changes in marital laws in

Singapore where child marriages are no

longer legal.

The Differing Concepts of Nikah

Gantung

Mr Zawawi Buang, a 47-year-old

Javanese Workshop Instructor who

went through nikah gantung at the

age of 21 is still happily marriedwith 4 children. He shares that the

temporary suspension does not only

involve the temporary suspension

of the rights to consummation but

also the temporary suspension of

a proper marriage ceremony for a

stipulated period of time. This means

that his concept ofnikah gantung also

involves postponing of the wedding

or bersanding ceremony to a later date,

usually for up to 2 years from the akad

nikah ceremony. The reason for doing

so is mainly to save up enough money

to pay for the marriage ceremony

as well as the financial liabilities that

would be incurred in living together,

which may include the purchase of

a HDB apartment. As such, after the

akad nikah ceremony, the married

couple will live in separate households,

restricting their engagements with

one another to that of a social, non-

sexual relationship. The husband is

still required to contribute part of his

income to support the livelihood of the

wife in accordance with the Syariah,although they may be living separately

from one another. This act of living

separately comes to an end once the

bersanding ceremony is conducted. As

such, the relationship after that evolves

to that of a typical husband and wifes,

where the husband is then allowed to

consummate the marriage.

This concept of nikah gantung differs

from the one held by Madam Mariam

Alias, a 46year-old private tutor of

mixed Indian-Malay descent who went

through nikah gantung at the age of

19 and remains happily married with

7 children. Madam Mariams concept

of nikah gantung extends beyond

working adults saving up for the

bersanding ceremony and the financial

liabilities that would be incurred for a

married couple living together. In fact,

Madam Mariam views nikah gantung

as the ideal alternative to the dating

culture prevalent among youths today

which may be a slippery path towards

premarital sex, modelling her ideas

based on the marriage trends of youthsin Saudi Arabia. As such, her concept

of nikah gantung revolves around

the idea of parents taking up the

responsibility to support the married

couple financially temporarily until the

husband is financially ready and the

couple is independent enough to live

on their own.

This point of view can be seen as the Islamic solution for students in love

who are concerned with the halal and haram aspects of gender interactions

and are already set in committing their lives to one another. Increasingly, wenotice this growing practice amongst students who are in love and want to

preserve the islamicity of their relationships with the opposite sex.

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This point of view can be seen as the

Islamic solution for students in love

who are concerned with the halaland

haram aspects of gender interactions

and are already set in committing their

lives to one another. Increasingly, we

notice this growing practice amongst

students who are in love and want

to preserve the islamicity of their

relationships with the opposite sex.

The Potential Problems of Nikah

Gantung

On the other hand, it may be argued

that this proposed solution may open

doors to even more problems, which

may include the loss in the sacredness

of the marriage contract, as immature

youths may abuse the circumstances

they are offered and treat the marriage

contract lightly, resulting in the

possible increase in divorce rates.

According to Ustaz Abdul Rahman

Shariff, a deputy kadiwho has handled

several cases of nikah gantung, it

is often performed among youths

whom he feels have not yet achieved

the maturity required to carry out the

roles of husbands and wives. It is also

sometimes practised among youths to

cover up unwanted pregnancies.

Besides the potential problems of

immaturity and divorce, there are

moral and ethical considerations in the

practice ofnikah gantung. Ustaz Abdul

Rahman says such a concept is foreign

to the spirit of Muslim marriages,

whereupon the signing of the marriage

contract, the husband is obliged to

fulfil his obligations towards his wife,

especially financially. He disagrees with

the notion that parents should bear

the financial burden of their childrens

marriage as this is contrary to the

fundamental clauses of a marriage

contract, forcing the parents to perform

roles that are not supposed to be

theirs. This view is shared by Mr Zawawi,

who argues that the suspension of the

financial responsibilities of a husband

would reduce the marriage institution

to that of a legalised boyfriend-

girlfriend relationship. This shaky affair

would be made more complicated

should the couple disrespect the

mutual agreement of restricting their

relationship to that which is non-sexual

in nature. This circumstance may lead to

Nikah gantung is a

tricky subject that

has not been studied

in great detail and its

definitions vary from

one individual to

another.

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unwanted pregnancies, which would

further add to the financial burden that

is borne by the parents. In addition, the

young husband may not be matured

or responsible enough to anticipate his

new role as a father to his children.

Madam Mariam defends her idea

of nikah gantung, asserting that the

prevention of sin is greater in value than

that of divorce. In fact, divorce is never

considered a sin, whereas unlawful

gender interaction is. She further

adds that the usage of contraceptives,common in todays world, would help

to prevent unwanted pregnancies as

discussed previously.

A Halal Alternative?

Nikah gantung is a tricky subject that

has not been studied in great detail and

its definitions vary from one individual

to another. I am more inclined towards

the arguments against nikah gantung

as an alternative solution to unlawful

dating practices. This is becausemarriage should be guided by the

ethical principles of mutual love and

compassion, as stated in the Holy Quran,

Surah A-Rum verse 30.

The guiding principles of love and

compassion mentioned in this verse,

in my opinion, are not only between

the couple, but extend towards their

parents as well. And how would love

and compassion be extended to our

parents if we are to burden themfinancially with our marriage? Indeed,

the intentions of making our love

relationships lawful via nikah gantung

may be to prevent the occurrences of

sin and premarital sex. However, to carry

out this approach without considering

the guiding principles of love and

compassion towards our parents would

not make our good intentions fully

aligned with the spirit of Islam. I am

not saying this is wrong. But the idea of

formulating a practical way out seems

in contrast to the spirit ofjihadun-nafs

(the struggle against ones desires) and

the Prophet S.A.Ws advice to perform

the fast to quell the sexual urges if onecannot afford to marry.

Nonetheless, nikah gantung remains

a debatable subject that is open to

further scrutiny and analysis.

The writer is a first year bioengineering undergraduate in the National University of

Singapore (NUS). He is also a member of the NUS Muslim Society.

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