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    INTRODUCTION

    Most of the Malay nowadays believes in Islam. Islam has long since set foot in

    the Malay society since the Malay Melaka Empire. Thats why Islam is a religion many

    Malays belief in.

    Even though the Malay society is rich with tradition and culture, it is still strong

    from the influence of Islam. Although most of the originated before they belief in Islam,

    they shall not do anything that Islam forbids. Thats why some of the culture that is

    strong on animism fades slowly as Islam takes over. Majority of Islam nowadays belief

    in Islam and the government has formed a governing Islamic body, so that some people

    would not be a lost and follow the wrong Islamic teaching.

    The teaching of Islam contains pillars and goals that are needed to be fulfilled in

    life. That is why the Malaysian government is endorsing Islam as it is seen as a proper

    and the correct way of life. With that Islam enables the Malay society to be one.

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    UPON VISITING MALAY HOME

    The first thing you would probably notice is that all Malaysians will take their

    shoes off before entering a Malay house. The reason for this is that when we perform

    our prayers with our guests, we usually do this in the living room. Therefore, should we

    wear our shoes inside; the shoes would spoil the living room floor, making it unsuitable

    for prayers. (We Muslim pray on a mat laid out on the floor).

    Your Malay house would probably insist that you leave your shoes on, as

    foreigners are not really expected to follow this Malay custom. Should you, however,

    insist that you take them off, you action will be very much appreciated.

    Introduction Malay style has no hard-and-fast rules but you will notice that, with

    the Malays, age takes precedence over almost everything else, i.e. A younger Malay

    person would very likely make the first move to Salam an older Malay persons hand.

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    MALAY HANDSHAKE

    The traditional Malay handshake is known as Salam whereby both parties

    extend their arms and clasp each others hand in a brief but firm grip. The man offers

    either one or both hands, grasps his friends hand and brings his hands back to his chest

    to mean, "I greet you from my heart".

    Most Malays are aware of the Western ways so the handshake is normal. The western

    way if shaking hands is quite similar to the Malays' although there are slight differences

    as mentioned above. One thing to bear in mind is that Malay women do not shake

    hands with men in accordance with Islamic practices. In this instance, a smile, nod of

    acknowledges. The traditional Malay handshake is known as Salam where by both

    parties extend their arms and clasp each others hand in a brief but firm grip. The man

    offers either one or both hands, grasps his friends hand and brings his hands back tohis

    chest to mean, "I greet you from my heart".

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    SOME DO AND DONTS

    The head (from the bottom of the neck up) is considered sacred in Eastern

    culture. Foreigners please remember that under no circumstances should touch the

    head of your Malaysia friend without permission. Even if you see an insect on your

    friends head, it is best that you let him/her know about it rather than attempt to remove

    the insect yourself! An affectionate gesture like pat on the head (even to a child) should

    also be avoided.

    Note that such act of intimacy is not common among some Malay people and

    that such an action on your part may cause a lot of unnecessary embarrassment.

    Assess the situation thoroughly before you offer your cheek or yourself lean forward to

    place a kiss on the cheek of your Malay fried. Please do not be offended if your Malay

    friend moves away (especially if she/he is of the opposite sex from you) but simply try to

    accept that this can be an alien tradition which some Malays will not accept for the

    religious or cultural reasons.

    The usual Malay way when entertaining people of both sexes is that the men will

    be invited to sit together and the ladies will be invited to sit together, i.e. the opposite

    sexes are segregated. It seem strange to foreigner but this is the way of here in

    Malaysia. The more modern Malays would probably do away with this sort of secretion

    but even these more modern Malay would most likely bow down to tradition when their

    guests consists of the older generation.

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    Alternatively, a hostess may only segregate the older Malay ladies and

    gentlemen and leave the younger to mingle with each other. When traditional function

    (e.g. a traditional birth or a traditional wedding) people are invited to sit on the floor.

    Although there are no rules for the men, but for ladies please note that the following are

    the not correct ways of sitting down in the Malay house:

    With your leg crossed

    With your legs placed straight in front of your body

    Squatting

    The proper way of sitting (Malay style)

    Sit with your two legs neatly tucked against your seated body (left or right side is

    fine)

    The feet must face away from people (as much as possible).

    If you can manage it, tuck your feet under the hem of your dress.

    If you have brought a present with you to give to your Malay hostess, dont be

    disappointed if she puts it aside and leaves it unopened. We have always been taught

    not to open gifts in the presence of the person who gave it to us. The gift can only be

    open when we are alone. This maybe something to do with modesty on the part of the

    receiver weather good or not, we are indicating that the present has been received with

    thanks and weather is inside the package takes second place to the thought the went

    behind it.

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    When you are at the crowded or during a ceremony, if you want to point at

    something use your thumb and not your forefinger. The correct way of doing this is to

    make a soft fist with your right hand. Place your thumb directly above this fisted hand.

    Only then do your point. You should never use your left hand to pointing at something.

    The reason lies in tradition. It is Malay custom that we wash ourselves each time we

    defecate and the left hand is used for this. Symbolically then, the left hand is considered

    unclean. Therefore, for all manner of gestures such as waving or pointing where only

    one hand is needed, only the right hand is used.

    Even if you find yourself in the very modern Malay home with very modern

    people, please bear mind that crossing the legs at the knees is considered rude in front

    of older Malay people and is absolutely forbidden in front of senior Malay royalty!

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    FOOD

    Malay is almost automatically Muslim too. As Muslim, Malay is allowed to eat

    food that is halal. Halal, which means permissible according to Muslim law, describe

    meat of animals slaughtered for food in the manner prescribed by Muslim law. Thus,

    halal describes lawful food. One of the things a Muslim is forbidden to eat by religious

    laws is pork.

    Variety is the spice in Malay food. The traditional culinary style has been greatly

    influenced by the long-ago traders from neighboring countries, such as Indonesia, India,

    the Middle East, and China. Malay food is often described as spicy and flavorful as it

    utilizes a melting pot of spices and herbs.

    Malay cooking incorporates ingredients such as lemon grass, pandan (screw

    pine) leaves, and kaffir lime leaves. Fresh herbs, such as daun kemangi (a type of

    basil), daun kesum (polygonum or laksa leaf), nutmeg, kunyit (turmeric) and bunga

    kantan (wild ginger buds) are often used. Traditional spices such as cumin and

    coriander are used in conjunction with Indian and Chinese spices such as pepper,

    cardamom, star anise and fenugreek. Seasonings play an important role in Malay

    cooking as they often enhance the food taste and flavors. Many of the seasonings are

    not dried spices but are fresh ingredients such as fresh turmeric, galangal, fresh chili

    paste, onions, and garlic. A combination of fresh seasonings and dried spices are

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    normally pounded together to make a fine paste and cooked in oil. Fresh coconut milk is

    often added.

    Rice is the staple diet in any Malay meal. It is often served for breakfast, lunch,

    dinner, and supper too. Most meals are eaten by using your fingers, and eating utensils

    are kept to a minimum. All dishes are served at the same time, accompanied by a

    refreshing drink. Fish is popular in Malay cooking, as with other seafood such as

    shrimps and cuttlefish. Beef and mutton are very popular choices but never pork as it is

    against their religious beliefs to eat pork. The other popular white meat is chicken.

    One of the most unique Malay dishes is the "roti jala" (lacy pancakes), which

    sometimes replaces the staple rice. Roti jala is an ideal accompaniment to any dish with

    lots of rich gravy and is often served during special occasions. It is made from a mixture

    of plain flour and eggs, with a pinch of turmeric powder and butter. Desserts are a must

    for any Malay meal. Easily available at most local restaurants and roadside stalls, Malay

    desserts are invariably very sweet and include ingredients such as coconut milk, palm

    sugar, and flour.

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    EATING WITH FINGERS

    Malays traditionally use the fingers of their right hand for eating. However no one

    expects a foreigner invited to a local-style meal (no cutlery) to be an expert at eating with

    fingers! Nevertheless, below are some useful guidelines to follow when you find yourself

    in a situation where using your fingers is the only way to eat:

    Always remember to watch your hand first. If you are invited to Malay weeding

    or any celebrations you will find water vessel (kendi) either at your table or being

    passed for guests to wash their hand.

    Meals are always eaten with your right hand!!! Being left handed is no excuse.

    Even though you are eating with your fingers, you will find that serving spoons

    are provided for all the dishes being laid out. Since the fingers of your right hand

    will be soiled while eating, you are permitted to use you left hand when using the

    serving spoons, although we always say excuse me (minta maaf) first.

    When it comes to dessert, you may well find that still have use your fingers.

    Since dessert eaten with the fingers is usually dry, do wash hands before starting

    your dessert. If it is some sort of pudding with a sauce or syrup, spoons will

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    definitely be provided. You would wash your hands at the end of a meal using

    the kendi again.

    Since the kendi has been passed round from person to person, the polite thing to

    do is to wash your hands using a minimum amount of water! Personally, I do not find

    this very supply of wet tissues (the ones packed for the babies are ideal), which of

    course makes me the most popular person at the table when I begin to pass them

    around!

    The pot which holds the water

    The stand has holes in it for the water to filter through.

    The other thing a foreigner should be made aware of is that is not considered

    impolite for a person to leave the table once he has finished his meal. In many of the

    larger households (the same can apply during meals at big functions), a person leaves

    the table as soon as he is done so that he can give way to other people waiting to eat.

    Washing Your Hands

    Lift the pot with your left hand and place your right hand (the hand you must use

    for eating) below it, above the stand.

    Lightly rinse your hand with the water from the pot, making sure the water filters

    through the holes in the stand.

    Replace the pot onto the stand.

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    ISLAMIC FESTIVALS

    There are only two Muslim festivals set down in Islamic law: Hari RayaPuasa

    and Hari Raya Haji.

    Hari Raya Puasa (1 Syawal)

    This marks the end of Ramadan, the month of fasting, and is a festival of great

    celebration. In Islamic countries it is a public holiday. The first Eid was celebrated in

    624 CE by the Prophet Muhammad S.A.W with his friends and relatives. Muslims are

    not only celebrating the end of fasting, but thanking Allah for the help and strength that

    he gave them throughout the previous month to help them practice self-control. The

    festival begins when the first sight of the new moon is seen in the sky. Muslims in most

    countries rely on news of an official sighting, rather than looking at the sky themselves.

    Hari Raya Puasa is very much a community festival and people go out into the streets to

    exchange greetings, and visit friends and relatives. The celebratory atmosphere is

    increased by everyone wearing best or new clothes, and decorating their homes. There

    are special services out of doors and in mosques, processions through the streets, and

    of course, a special celebratory meal eaten during daytime, the first daytime meal

    Muslims will have had in a month. Eid is also a time of forgiveness, and making

    amends.

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    Hari Raya Haji (10 Zulhijjah)

    The Festival of sacrifice which marks the end of the Hajj or holy pilgrimage,

    which is one of the 5 pillars of Islam, however it is celebrated by all Muslims, not just

    those who are on the pilgrimage. The festival remembers the prophet Ibrahims

    willingness to sacrifice his son when God ordered him to. God appeared in a dream to

    Ibrahim and told him to sacrifice his son Ismail. Ibrahim and Ismail set off to Mina for the

    sacrifice. As they went, the devil attempted to persuade Ibrahim to disobey God and not

    to sacrifice his beloved son. Ibrahim drove the devil away. As Ibrahim prepared to kill

    his son God stopped him and gave him a sheep to sacrifice instead. Ibrahims complete

    submission to the will of God is celebrated by Muslims each year. There are also

    several other special days which Muslims celebrate.

    Maal Hijrah(1 Muharram)

    The Islamic New Years Day.

    This festival commemorates the Hijrah (or Hegira) in 622 CE when the Prophet

    Muhammad (pbuh) moved from Mecca to Medina. This was the beginning of the growth

    of Islam into a world faith. The Muslim calendar counts dates from the Hijrah, which is

    why Muslim dates have the suffix A.H. (After Hijrah). There is no specific religious ritual

    required on this day, but Muslims will think about the general meaning of Hijrah, and

    regard this as a good time for "New Year Resolutions". The Quran uses the word Hijrah

    to mean moving from a bad place or state of affairs to a good one and so Muslims may

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    think about how their faith helps them leave behind bad ways of living and achieve a

    better life.

    Ashura(10 Muharram)

    This is a holiday for Shia Muslims in particular, and commemorates the

    martyrdom of Hussein, a grandson of the Prophet Muhammad S.A.W in 680 CE.

    Maulud Nabi(12 Rabi'ul awal)

    The birthday of the Prophet Muhammad S.A.W.

    At this time Muslims think about Muhammad, and the events of his life. Muslim

    parents will tell stories of the Prophets Muhammad S.A.W life to their children. Some

    Muslims disapprove of celebrating the birthday, on the grounds that it is an innovation,

    and innovations in religious matters are forbidden. Why? Because if changes were

    made in religious matters it would imply that Islam was not complete when it was

    revealed to the Prophet Muhammad S.A.W, or that the Prophet Muhammad S.A.W did

    not tell Muslims everything that was revealed to him. This would be seen as highly

    sacrilegious by many Muslims.

    Israk and Mikraj (27 Rejab)

    The night journey and ascent of the Prophet Muhammad S.A.W, and the revelation of

    Solat. The festival is celebrated by telling the story of how the Prophet Muhammad

    S.A.W was visited by two archangels while he was asleep, who purified his heart and

    filled him with knowledge and faith. The Prophet Muhammad S.A.W travelled from

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    Mecca to Jerusalem in a single night on a strange winged creature called Buraq. From

    Jerusalem he ascended into heaven, where he met the earlier prophets, and eventually

    God. During his time in heaven Muhammad S.A.W was told of the duty of Muslims to

    recite Solat (ritual prayer) 5 times a day.

    Lailat al Qadr(27 Ramadan)

    The festival of The Night of Power marks the night in which the Quran was first revealed

    to the Prophet Muhammad S.A.W by Allah. Muslims regard this as the most important

    event in history, and the Qur'an says that this night is better than a thousand months

    (97:3), and that on this night the angels descend to earth. This is a festival that Muslims

    spend in study and prayer. Some will spend the whole night in prayer or in reciting the

    Quran. Lailat al Qadr is a good time to ask for forgiveness. Allah's Apostle said,

    "Whoever establishes the prayers on the night of Qadr out of sincere faith and hoping to

    attain Allah's rewards (not to show off) then all his past sins will be forgiven." (Bukhari

    Vol 1, Book 2: 34). The date of 27 Ramadan is a traditional date, as the Prophet

    Muhammad S.A.W did not tell us when the Night of Power would be, although he

    suggested it was in the last 10 days of the month. Because of this, many Muslims will

    treat the last 10 days of the month of Ramadan as a particularly good time for prayer

    and reading the Quran.

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    Dress

    A Malays have a traditional clothes such as Baju kurung, Baju melayu, Baju

    kebaya. Usually when :Hari Raya Puasa, Malays will wear a baju kurung for women

    and baju melayu for mens. This is a custom of Malays people and on the first Raya

    they must wear the traditional clothes. Baju kurung it have many type such as baju

    kurung modern and baju kurung kedah. Baju kurung modern have body shape and

    look fluffier.

    For Baju melayu, it also have many type such as Teluk belanga and cekak

    musang. They usually wear this when there is a traditional event.

    The baju kurung is a simple knee-length blouse worn over a long skirt pleated at

    the side. The outfit is completed with a selendang or tudung around the shoulders or on

    the head. It can be matched with the kain songket, batik and even pelikat. Nowadays,

    the baju kurung can be found in different styles. These clothes are being tailored so that

    they suit the person wearing it. Among them are baju kurung labuh, baju kurung moden,

    baju kurung cekak, baju kurung Kedah and more.

    The baiu kebaya is a lot more form fitting compared to the baju kurung and is

    normally quite flattering. This makes the baju kebaya quite popular with the Malay

    community as well as the non-Malays. The baju kebaya is usually matched with the kain

    songket or batik.

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    Among the Muslims, another mandatory piece of clothing is the scarf called

    either the tudung or selendang. The selendang is used to adorn the hair. It has been

    part of the Malay women's wardrobe for ages and you can see plenty of beautiful

    choices available these days.

    One can see the baju melayu on a grand display during special occasions or on

    Fridays for the Friday prayers. Other than being matched with the seluar (trousers), the

    baju melayu can also be worn with the kain pelikat. If the shirt, trousers and the

    samping are worn in a similar colour, fabric or pattern and in matching styles, then it is

    known as sedondon. The baju melayu is worn either in the style of kain berdagang luar

    or kain berdagang dalam. In the kain berdagang luar style, the shirt is worn outside the

    trousers and covers part of the sampin. In the kain berdagang dalam, the sampin is

    worn outside the dress and it i covers the lower part of the shirt.

    Just as hats, berets and caps are suited to their particular dressings in the

    Western world, the Malay tanjak or tengkolok is worn and complements exquisitely the

    traditional full Malay costume or baju melayu. The tanjak or tengkolok is actually a four-

    sided cloth that is folded expertly into a head-kerchief. It is usually worn at traditional

    Malay weddings by the groom during the bersanding ceremony and the tanjak he wears

    usually matches the wedding suit. The tanjak or tengkolok are worn during formal and

    public ceremonies as well.

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    The songkok (traditional Malay cap) is a headdress worn with the traditional outfit

    for Malay men. The songkok is well designed from plain black to embroider and from

    cotton to velvet. It is mostly worn during festive occasions such as Hari Raya and

    weddings as well as religious events such as kenduri (feasts), prayers and funerals.

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    THE MUSLIM CALENDAR

    The Muslim calendar also has twelve month the names of the month starting with

    the first month of the Muslim calendar called Muharam up to the twelfth or last month of

    the Muslim calendar called Zulhijah. The examples the names of month in the Muslim

    calendar are; Muharam, Safar, Rabiulawal, Rabiulakhir, Jamadilawal, Jamadilakhir,

    Rejab, Syaban, Ramadan, Syawal, Zulkaedah, and Zulhijah.

    Every month in Muslim calendar has a festival, but not all the month. In the

    Muharam is the first day of the month, Islamic New Years Day. At 12th Rabiulawal, is

    the birthday of the Prophet Muhammad (S.A.W). The letter S.A.W stands for Sallallahi

    Alaihi Wassallam, which is Arabic for may Allah bless Him and grant Him peace. It is

    customary for all Muslim to say these words every time the Prophets name is

    mentioned.

    At 27th Rejab, is the ascension of the Prophet (S.A.W). In month of Ramadan all

    the Muslim people has to fasting for 30 day (a month). After fasting in month of

    Ramadan,in the month of Syawal, the Muslim people will celebrated Hari Raya Puasa

    (Aidilfitri). It is very lavishly celebrated in Malaysia. All the Muslim people will wear new

    clothes in that month. In 10th Zulhijah, Muslim people celebrated Hari Raya Haji

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    (Aidiladha). This marks the end of the Pilgrimage. It is not as lavishly celebrated in

    Malaysia as it is in most Arab speaking countries, especially in Saudi Arabia.

    MARRIAGE

    The different ceremonies

    There are many ceremonies leading up to the actual wedding itself. A foreigner

    is most likely to be invited to the final ceremony the Bersanding (sitting-in-state) in

    the solemnization of a Malay wedding. This is a most colorful event where the bridal

    couple is treated as Royalty-for-the-Day (Raja Sehari) and relatives and friends come to

    wish them well. If you happen to be close to the bride or the groom (or both) you may be

    invited to a few ceremonies preceding the Bersanding ceremony. These could be:

    The Hantar Tanda the statement of intent from the grooms side

    The Akad Nikah The engagement

    The Berinai - The ceremony where henna is painted on the bride and grooms palms and

    fingertips

    Of all the above, the Akad Nikah is the one compulsory as this is when the

    couple are religiously and legally declared husband and wife.

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    The Bersanding Ceremony

    The bridal couple sits on a raise dais (pelamin). Behind the brides chair stands

    her attendant and behind the grooms chair stands his. These two people have the duty

    of attending to the bride and groom while they sit in state.

    As soon as the bride and groom are seated on the dais, the Blessing Ceremony

    begins. If you are a foreigner having to do this honor for the first time, a women relative

    seated at the edge of the dais will coach you as to what should be done.

    The normal procedure is as follows: take the small handful of scented leaves

    and scented flower petals (bunga rampai) and scatter them onto the open palm of the

    bride and groom. Always begin with the grooms right palm and end with the brides left

    palm (Follow this procedure throughout). Next, take the small bouquet of leaves and dip

    in the past like liquid. Shake a few drops onto the open palm of the bride and groom

    (menepung tawar). Then you will be asked to scatter a few grains of saffron rice over

    the shoulders of the bride and groom or sprinkle a few drops of scented water on the

    open palm of the bride and groom. Once you have completed the above, you step down

    from the dais. Usually at this point, you will be handed a gilded hard-boiled egg encased

    in a golden or silver holder (bunga telur). Eggs symbolize fertility.

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    All guests go home with a bunga telur, although these days it may not consist of

    hard-boiled egg. Alternatives can be sweets or chocolates shaped like egg.

    APPROPRIATED GIFTS

    In Malaysia, a guest can make up his own mind as to what he feels is the most

    appropriate.

    Anything towards the couples new home would always be welcomed (especially

    practical gifts like toasters and rice cookers). If you happen to know that the couple

    could do with a little extra cash, by all means give them a gift of money. If your option

    for this, do so discreetly by handing it to a parent of the bride when you arrive or just

    before you leave. You would put the money in a small envelope (or a small packet) and

    quietly, press it into the palm of this parent when you shake his/her hand in greeting or

    farewell. You would also lean forward to whisper: A small gift for the young couple to

    help them out with their new home or words to that effect. Wedding presents can either

    be sent in advance (usually to the brides parents house) or brought with you.

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    APPROPRIATED DRESS

    The Malays would all probably turn up in National Dress (both men and women).

    If you have been looking for the opportunity to wear you Baju Melayu, here is the perfect

    time to do so.

    Otherwise, a male guest is normally expected to turn up in a lounge suit in a

    hotel or restaurant or a long-sleeved batik shirt at home.

    A female guest can dress up to her hearts content. If that it was necessary, put

    something that covers the knees or even the ankles. If invited to the house, a non Malay

    guest may find herself invited to sit on the floor along with the Malay ladies. Having to

    struggle to sit and to stand up again just wont do (not to mention trying not to show too

    much leg). Dressy trouser suits would be the answer here. By and large, trousers (if

    worn modestly and elegantly) are an accepted mode of dress in Malay company.

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    FUNERAL

    The time between death and burial is minimal. If one person wants to pay last

    respects before the body is buried, do so as soon as they are told of the death. For a

    short period of time the body of the deceased is placed in the center of the living room or

    the hall to give everyone a chance to offer prayers and have a slat look before the burial

    ceremony.

    As a non-Muslim, they may or not be invite to witness the body at close range. If

    they are not, it is best that they sit outside and try to inform a member of the family that

    they are there to express their condolences. Although they may not have a chance to

    see the bereaved, they will no doubt be informed that they took trouble to come.

    Leaving their calling card behind is permitted.

    The normal mourning period is 100 days. For the first three nights following the

    death, prayer (Tahlil) at homes are held daily. After that, the next prayers are held on

    the seventh day, followed by the fortieth day and, finally, on the hundredth day. It is a

    highly unlikely for a non-Muslim to be invited to any of these prayers. If any person did

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    not visit the bereaved before the burial, they can do so during the mourning period. Try

    not to visit in the early evening (Maghrib) as prayers are held during this time.

    Ones does not normally send wreath to a Malay funeral, although they will not be

    thrown away if received. The usually happens is that wreath will be disassembled and

    the flowers used to sprinkle over the new grave. Although sending letter of condolence

    is not Malay practice, when received it is always appreciated. A cash donation can be

    given to the family of the deceased if fell they need it. Sometime a small box or bowl is

    strategically placed so that person can drop their donation into it. Otherwise, pass their

    donation (in envelope) to a responsible member of the family, politely stating that they

    hope the family might be able to use it for the funeral or the many ceremonies (kenduri)

    held afterward. Kenduri to mark a death is usually attended by family and close family

    friend only.

    The Malay will normally turn p in the Baju Melayu (both men and women) using

    the color white (or predominantly white). The ladies will cover their heads with a

    selendang to cover their aurat. As all ceremonies dealing with death are religious, make

    sure that respect this and turn up in something sober.